Why is it so difficult to say what is really on our minds? I am not talking about the general bitching and moaning, but really telling expressing our emotions - good and bad.
I've said before that I am TMI girl. Ask me anything and I will tell you. Hell, I don't usually even wait to be asked. But even the most intimate details I share aren't expressive of who *I* am - just of what I do. I try my best to keep my emotions in check, not wanting to appear like some weak girl who - gasp! - actually has feelings.
What I have been working on, though, is eliminating the passive-aggressive behaviors that seem to go hand-in-hand with keeping my true emotions hidden. It is a behavior I abhor in others. If someone is upset with me, I would prefer to be told about it, than to have things said behind my back, or to have someone drop little "hints."
So, knowing all this...knowing that nothing will be resolved unless I state what I need from others, why is it still so difficult to do? Obvious answer is that I am afraid of the outcome. If I tell a friend that s/he has done something that upsets me, I am afraid to cause even more grief for myself. Or, if I have feelings for someone, I am afraid to say something in case it isn't reciprocated. Been burned a few too many times on that one.
So, if open communication is the way to better understanding of interpersonal relationships, how do you get past the fear of exposing yourself, emotionally?
This reminds me of the "Six Feet Under" episode where the woman finally decides to tell everyone how she really feels. It all goes well until she tells her boyfriend, who accidentally kills her during his irrational fit of rage. Irony.
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