After a year and a half of putting my soul onto paper through various diaries, journals and blogs, I am done. Although it has been therapeutic, it is also exhausting and at some point becomes nothing more than an exercise in "mental masturbation."
So I am shifting my focus to something more productive and forward looking. A dear friend has challenged me to put my money where my mouth is and to submit my writings for publication.
The title of this blog means "little bites" and was intended to be for short commentaries about my life. The title will fit nicely with the new focus of short commentary on the world that surrounds me, rather than that which lies within.
I will leave up the past posts for a while, and then remove them . They may or may not resurface ata later date and on a different forum.
Thank you all for your indulgence.
M
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Great Expectations
EXPECTATION: ex·pec·ta·tion
Pronunciation: \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
Function: noun
Date: 1540
1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation
____
Time flies. Each day brings a new milestone, an anniversary, a turning point. Some experiences fade into memory, others seem as fresh as if they happened yesterday. One year ago I was wondering how I was going to cope with the difficulties ahead, but I embraced the challenge wholeheartedly. I counted each day with pleasure. I was proud of every symptom.
I started out ok today, but I am a master of "what ifs." I've waited for just one word of acknowledgment from the other person who lost something along with me. It isn't logical, but then again, emotions seldom are. I feel like I was robbed, that someone else is living the life I was supposed to have. I don't know why I still feel hurt after all that's passed between us. Water under the bridge deep enough to drown in. I walk the line between forgiveness and rage, acceptance and denial.
Then, just when I felt that I had a grip on things, I read about this:
According to the Chicago Tribune, Park Forest police responded to an emergency call from a six-year-old boy. When they arrived at the home, they found the boy unsupervised and an eight-year-old girl with cerebral palsy - harnessed and chained up, wearing a diaper and covered in her own filth.
Renee Dennis, the girl's aunt and the boy's mother, and the boy's father, Paul Coleman, have been charged with "felony criminal neglect of a disabled person and endangering the life or health of a child." Coleman is also charged with failing to register as a sex offender. cbs2chicago.com reports that "Coleman was charged in 1998 with aggravated criminal sexual abuse of a 6-year-old child. He was sentenced to three years in state prison, authorities said."
What kind of expectations did this girl have? Was she even aware that there was a world outside of her personal hell? And the boy who called the police - is this the only life he knew during his short six years? What kind of adult would he have become - assuming that he even survived his childhood with these animals?
Dennis, 35, was given a $3,000 bond. Coleman, 38, is being held on a $5,000 bond.
Yours truly, 37, looks back to Mother's Day 2009 - when she was full of hopes and dreams and great expectations for the future - and no amount of money can bring back that feeling. But one word would have gone a long way.
Pronunciation: \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
Function: noun
Date: 1540
1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation
____
Time flies. Each day brings a new milestone, an anniversary, a turning point. Some experiences fade into memory, others seem as fresh as if they happened yesterday. One year ago I was wondering how I was going to cope with the difficulties ahead, but I embraced the challenge wholeheartedly. I counted each day with pleasure. I was proud of every symptom.
I started out ok today, but I am a master of "what ifs." I've waited for just one word of acknowledgment from the other person who lost something along with me. It isn't logical, but then again, emotions seldom are. I feel like I was robbed, that someone else is living the life I was supposed to have. I don't know why I still feel hurt after all that's passed between us. Water under the bridge deep enough to drown in. I walk the line between forgiveness and rage, acceptance and denial.
Then, just when I felt that I had a grip on things, I read about this:
According to the Chicago Tribune, Park Forest police responded to an emergency call from a six-year-old boy. When they arrived at the home, they found the boy unsupervised and an eight-year-old girl with cerebral palsy - harnessed and chained up, wearing a diaper and covered in her own filth.
Renee Dennis, the girl's aunt and the boy's mother, and the boy's father, Paul Coleman, have been charged with "felony criminal neglect of a disabled person and endangering the life or health of a child." Coleman is also charged with failing to register as a sex offender. cbs2chicago.com reports that "Coleman was charged in 1998 with aggravated criminal sexual abuse of a 6-year-old child. He was sentenced to three years in state prison, authorities said."
What kind of expectations did this girl have? Was she even aware that there was a world outside of her personal hell? And the boy who called the police - is this the only life he knew during his short six years? What kind of adult would he have become - assuming that he even survived his childhood with these animals?
Dennis, 35, was given a $3,000 bond. Coleman, 38, is being held on a $5,000 bond.
Yours truly, 37, looks back to Mother's Day 2009 - when she was full of hopes and dreams and great expectations for the future - and no amount of money can bring back that feeling. But one word would have gone a long way.
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